Success Hoarder

I’ve kept the inbox clean for a week. I’ve had to really focus on tasks but success! No massive e-mail list of tasks!

I’m a slave to tasks. I admit it . . . they own me most days. I have this strange, codependency thing with them. Why is that?

I believe it is because I can see the immediate resolution of success — do this task, achieve this goal and . . . success. I can se it. Then, on to next goal, which I will surely achieve and will then get me some success.

Easy enough.

Actually, it’s not.

My day is filled with realized and unrealized tasks. Some days, the unrealized ones win. Actually, most days that’s true. If I’m truthful, everyday is that way. I may get many things done, but at the end of the day, something is left unfinished.

Enter, stress. Enter dilemma — did I really have a good, productive day.

I think this is where hoarding has its roots. Yes, there are medical issues. But as I watch the shows on hoarding, I see people paralyzed by the unfulfilled tasks of sorting, cleaning maintaining a home. Somewhere, it started with one unrealized task. Grief of depression enters . . . maybe it was already there.

Am I success hoarder? Am I someone who can’t function if I don’t have success . . . successes I can see immediately? Am I void of being able to leave something undone?

I’m seeking it avoid that. Complete the tasks and feel good about what I’ve done. Or, at least not dwell on it. Move on . . .don’t hoard it in my soul. Don’t let it be my drug. Wow, don’t let it even be about ME, God. Hear my prayer!

Today was good. Tomorrow will be better. Desk clean. Ministry still moving forward. Some music planned. Good people I work with. Supper done. Laundry going. Dishes clean. Boys at home. Rhonda at work. I feel good.

Thank you God for the tasks . . . whether I get them all done or not . . . and they are all for you.


Published by Matt

Creative Arts developer, planner, husband, and father. I direct choirs, make graphic art, and film, photograph and work daily to foster an experience with the Holy.

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